Last night I had a dream.
I can't remember it all properly,but the main content was that I ended up almost kissing this guy I mentioned onces. The guy I find really cute but does not seem too interested in me.
Gosh, I sooo love this fantastic feeling I always get after a really nice *love* dream... it is sooo similar like the feeling of being in love...
When I woke up I was kindaa high of it...and then I started fantasising about how it would be if there would really happen a love story between Nikki( well actually he's called Nicolai but everybody calls him Nick,Nikki) and.
We actually have 3courses together.My major subject english,then german and maths. I imagined how we would start to really like each other,talk about all kinds of stuff,after a time exchanging numbers and msn addys..you know..getting to know each other.
Then a few nice meeting like hanging out together with some friends and stuff... and after a while we would start dating and since it would be already Novemerber we would have gone ice skating .
Then he would have excused himself for a moment(going to the toilet or something..?), I would have waited,skating a bit on the skating rink waiting for his return and kinda lost in thoughts...and then he would have suddenly sneeked up on me from behind. I would have been a bit frightened (you know in a kind of way like "geez, I didn't hear you coming*giggle*") and we would have fallen down,laughing and then... the special moment would have arrived and we would end up kissing while it starts snowing...
Okay, I know I sound like a 12 year old girlie ....I tend to be pretty romantic sometimes...though I'm quite a realist.
After picturing this "perfect love story" of course the pessimist in me had to show itself. I started reminding myself that a) it would never work that way-he does not seem to be interested in you at all, life just is not that way blah blah
b) in the end I would spoil it anyway.
c) when you have a relationship with someone there comes the time when you start making out with each other,right?And the longer you are a couple the more everything turns to "sexual intercourse"
Call me frigid but I really don't want that at the moment.Of course I have already had several experiences in that topic[apart from a blow job(I think it is DISGUSTING,could never do that) and having sex I]
I just don't want to get so intimate with somebody I think. It seems to be like such a big thing(here's the virgin talking) and I'm scared of being so close with somebody.The idea of someone touching myself in this way...I just don't want it.
I think you could refer it to my ED,huh?
Plus,I somehow think that I'm just not able to have a proper,happy relationship with anyone.
Yep, I have had reaally bad experiences,though I only have had two boyfriends in my life so far-dumped them both( my first after 7 months,he was a really nice guy but... we just didnt really fit together.
My second after 4 but he really was a psycho..I don't regard him with such dislike jsut for fun.)
Whoops, my fuckin brother just came in.I'm sorry I have to end this so fast.
See you soon lovelies!!
Minaralou
I can't remember it all properly,but the main content was that I ended up almost kissing this guy I mentioned onces. The guy I find really cute but does not seem too interested in me.
Gosh, I sooo love this fantastic feeling I always get after a really nice *love* dream... it is sooo similar like the feeling of being in love...
When I woke up I was kindaa high of it...and then I started fantasising about how it would be if there would really happen a love story between Nikki( well actually he's called Nicolai but everybody calls him Nick,Nikki) and.
We actually have 3courses together.My major subject english,then german and maths. I imagined how we would start to really like each other,talk about all kinds of stuff,after a time exchanging numbers and msn addys..you know..getting to know each other.
Then a few nice meeting like hanging out together with some friends and stuff... and after a while we would start dating and since it would be already Novemerber we would have gone ice skating .
Then he would have excused himself for a moment(going to the toilet or something..?), I would have waited,skating a bit on the skating rink waiting for his return and kinda lost in thoughts...and then he would have suddenly sneeked up on me from behind. I would have been a bit frightened (you know in a kind of way like "geez, I didn't hear you coming*giggle*") and we would have fallen down,laughing and then... the special moment would have arrived and we would end up kissing while it starts snowing...
Okay, I know I sound like a 12 year old girlie ....I tend to be pretty romantic sometimes...though I'm quite a realist.
After picturing this "perfect love story" of course the pessimist in me had to show itself. I started reminding myself that a) it would never work that way-he does not seem to be interested in you at all, life just is not that way blah blah
b) in the end I would spoil it anyway.
c) when you have a relationship with someone there comes the time when you start making out with each other,right?And the longer you are a couple the more everything turns to "sexual intercourse"
Call me frigid but I really don't want that at the moment.Of course I have already had several experiences in that topic[apart from a blow job(I think it is DISGUSTING,could never do that) and having sex I]
I just don't want to get so intimate with somebody I think. It seems to be like such a big thing(here's the virgin talking) and I'm scared of being so close with somebody.The idea of someone touching myself in this way...I just don't want it.
I think you could refer it to my ED,huh?
Plus,I somehow think that I'm just not able to have a proper,happy relationship with anyone.
Yep, I have had reaally bad experiences,though I only have had two boyfriends in my life so far-dumped them both( my first after 7 months,he was a really nice guy but... we just didnt really fit together.
My second after 4 but he really was a psycho..I don't regard him with such dislike jsut for fun.)
Whoops, my fuckin brother just came in.I'm sorry I have to end this so fast.
See you soon lovelies!!
Minaralou
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