Scribblings of my disturbed eating ( life) ...: Feeling random...

27.08.2009

Feeling random...

Do I deserve to have a boyfriend?
Am I already able to fall in love with someone after that horrible relationship in winter/spring?
Do I just crave for validation and some kindess and love and therefore feel some butterflies in my stomach when I think about/see/chat with M?
God, I am so confused. I don't even trust myself anymore, I doubt everything that might be...
I am going to tell you about what's this with this guy called M as soon as possible!
At the moment I'm afraid I have to leave for school.
Another topic I'm freaking out about...
Maybe it's just a slight period of being kind of hysteric?
Who knows...
Anyway, see you soon!
Love,
Minaralou

PS: I'm finally lower than 55,8 kg! =)

2 Kommentare:

Cille A. Pederson hat gesagt…: Hey, I just wanted to comment on your comment. I am NOT skinny or anything like that... Just normal. The picture was more of a point-maker that it isn't something good that I got to my goal and my bulimia has given me nothing but a hospitale stay... I am bulimic (and have been for some time) so even though my BMI is 22.3, I am broken on the inside, and my heart is unstabil :)

So... I want to get better... But... It's darn scarey.; 27. August 2009 um 16:09
*daisy* hat gesagt…: hey, i love your blog and feel that you say the things that often cloud my thoughts - the self-doubt, the desire to disappear.. no matter how you feel about yourself now, you deserve to be loved by someone who loves you too. Don't be drawn into some fake relationship just to prove to yourself that you're loveable. from experience i can say that it only leaves you feeling even more worthless and numb than before.
stay strong
xoxo; 27. August 2009 um 20:52

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Some sayings & quotes I like.. =)

♦"If you're looking for me, I'm hovering around phrensis, more precisely on the thin line between phrenesis and panic, just round the corner of deadly terror and not very far away from despair and idiocy!"
♦Sooner or later everyone will cause you pain…You just have to figure out which ones are worth it.
♦Smile. It’s easier than explaining why you’re sad…
♦Behind my smile is a hurting heart, behind my laugh I’m falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am, it isn’t me…
♦My knight in shinig armour turned out to be a looser in aluminium foil
♦What's better? A lie, that drwas a smile (and satisfies) or the truth that draws a tear?
♦(translatet) I am my own hell,my own paradise,a fallen angel, that plunged herself into ruin
♦Technically, one simply gets unhappy by pondering.
♦Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain!
♦I'm not afraid of Happy Endings.I'm just afraid my life won't work that way..
♦The only reason people hold on memories so tight is because memories are the only thing that won't change when everything else does.
♦Every time a child says"I don't believe in fairies" there's a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead"-Peter Pan

♦"When you lose the battle
You may as well give up the war"

.... nothing tastes as good as thin feels....sacrifice is giving up something good for something way better.....

Behind the mask...

Well,if you saw me you'd think I'm just a girl doing well in this world,maybe a bit pale but that's it- actually I'm anything but "normal".

To my friends,I'm the nice blonde veggie girl,addicted to Great Britain,tough,self-confident,sometimes a bit too mouthy but all in one a young,intelligent girl that knows what life is all about .. if they could look into my head and see what's really going on inside me they'd probably run away terribly terrified...

My life consists of the Me I appear to be on the outside and the real Me,which I can only live out on the internet,in my diary or in my head.

Btw, I'm german so pls forgive any mistakes.

I came here to share my thoughts with like-minded persons as you,because I think this is the only place to in a community where I can let my social mask of normality fall and be truthful, above all else. =)

Scribblings of my disturbed eating ( life) ...

27.08.2009

Feeling random...

2 Kommentare:

Mind over matter and I won't get fatter...

Some sayings & quotes I like.. =)

Behind the mask...

My appreciated readers <3

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The other side of me...

When I Hate